The Awesomegasmic Thoughts of Myself and Those of Others That Amuse Me


I need a GISHWHES team! OMG! HALP!

I was thinking about how its a good thing all of the Hogwarts founders names were alliterations. Like if Godric Gryffindor’s name had been, like, Jeff and the basilisk is hissing at Salazar Slytherin like “are you gonna let him get away with that sssssshit” and Helga Hufflepuff is just drinking out of her magic cup to forget and Rowena Ravenclaw is like “bro, could you at least spell it ‘Geoff’?”

These weirdos stole my phone at the #willienelson show #sistagram #concert

These weirdos stole my phone at the #willienelson show #sistagram #concert


My roommate built me a shelf because I had 3 boxes of tea when I moved in.

Overheard at taco bell

Taco bell worker 1: I just got hot sauce in my sock

Taco bell worker 2 (without missing a beat): well at least you don't got cold feet

Bless you taco bell worker 2.

currently the weird solo person at applebees occupying an 8 top with my laptop and a mountain dew because I have no friends. you and me, wifi. you and me.

There was quite a bit of Birdy at work today so I was looking her up and this song made me sad for several reasons both irl and ifl.

(Source: Spotify)

Yesterday (cuz MURICA) my job was very slow and a friend of mine was having a bad night and came to visit me at work just after dark. She told me driving on the highway with fireworks in the residential areas near the road made driving difficult, naturally this tune has been in my head since.

(Source: Spotify)

Notes on Banging in a Car

  1. If your banging requires the backseat of a 2 door convertible and a parking lot perhaps you should maybe reconsider the banging
  2. If you still choose to do the banging don’t park RIGHT NEXT TO the ONLY other car in that section. The girl leaving work at 12:20am will assume she is about to be murdered first


The girl you just parked next to.

P.S. Congratulations on the banging

P.P.S Thanks for the heart attack, dicks.